Good morning, good afternoon, or good evening job seekers!
All my recent blogs lately have focused on job fairs, career success groups, and resume trends, enough with that “outer” stuff for now, you know, stuff we have little power to change.
Yes, Resume Energy is in the business of writing resumes, very good ones at that, but at the center of its mission is one simple, yet powerful belief. Resume Energy believes that in order to land that dream job, or start that fantastic career you’ve been yearning for, you MUST, let me restate this; you HAVE to do some “inner” work.
Inner work means, “Changing and/or re-patterning your beliefs and thoughts”; which is a process of deliberately changing yourself to become the person you know you can be. To some inner work can be an adventurous journey of self discovery, to many it is a path of self inquiry, to others it is “healing and clearing”, then others it may be “mental restructuring”; “dealing with the past”, and we can’t forget, “stretching (taking risks, challenging yourself, and/or experimenting)”. For millions it is simply accepting Jesus Christ, as their Lord and Savior. For me, the leader of this great new company, it is all of the above. So, before I start this blog, (inner work) I would like to set the table, so to speak, with three plates, for our topic today; (1) All words all energy. (2) Thoughts are our words. (3) Your inner language can lead to hopelessness. Still want to join me?
Do you ever feel that you are your worst critic about everything you do? From the clothes you pick out to wear in the morning, to your body when pass a mirror, the food you’ve eaten, your hair style; and what’s important here, for my job seekers, the job or career choices you’ve made. On a given day, do you review your past mistakes over and over and over again?
Well if you are GUILTY (a feeling our inner critic loves to throw around), I’d like you to say hello, and meet your INNER CRITIC!
He or she has been around for years, reminding you, I am being way to nice talking about that critic here, “ATTACKING you, laughing at you, saying that you are bad, wrong, inadequate, worthless, guilty, and so on. This inner critic often produces FEELINGS of shame, deficiency, low self-esteem, and depression. It definitely at the root of self-doubt and can undermine your self confidence. It is common for all of us to listen to this harsh and debilitating inner critic daily, hour after hour, minute after minute.
Most of us are not even aware that there is this voice or a self speaking inside because the Inner Critic’s constant judgments have been with them since early childhood and its running critical commentary feels quite natural.
Psychologist and theorist believe that the Inner Critic develops early in one’s life, absorbing (or internalizing) the judgments of the people around and the expectations of the society in which one lives.
Get this, the more DIFFICULT or ABUSIVE the childhood, the more vicious and abusive the Inner Critic is likely to be. It is thought that in order to protect one from the pain and the shame of always being found “less than” a voice develops that echoes the concerns of parents, the church, or of other people who are important to you, so that you criticize yourself first, so that you won’t make any horrid mistakes.
Many, and I’ve heard this personally, believe that in the inner critic is good, because “if you don’t FORCE or criticize yourself to do something, who will”. I have one question, would you ever talk to a child the way you talk to yourself? Never! How many people would be in your life if you said some of the things you say to yourself out loud to them? How many friends or co-workers would want to be around you, if you talked to them like you do yourself?
Job seekers, by nature of this whole job seeking experience, how often is your inner voice SCREAMING?
Here are a few options to quiet or reprogram that inner critic. I pray they help you.
The first thing you have to do is spend some time actually listening and/or observing what and how your inner critic operates. For me, it was an eye opening experience, because I have always considered myself an intrinsic motivator. Yes, I am a motivator of other people. It is so easy for me to see their unlimited potential, and possibilities. I love the feeling of encouraging, inspiring, and guiding others.
However, for one week, I stopped and actually listened to my inner critic. I couldn’t believe what I heard and felt, each time I went to make a decision about the smallest thing about MYSELF. What astonished me was how LOUD and passionate that inner voice was. How “she” was constantly “chit chatting” about Resume Energy’s success, Resume Energy’s mission to help job seekers, and OMG the personal stuff, the outfit I wanted to wear, the food I wanted to eat, had just eaten, and don’t mention, the word exercise!
Now the strange thing about this voice was that it always had something to say, and get this it had “power” and “authority” and ENERGY behind it. My body felt the roar of the voice. Can you imagine how often this inner critical voice has made decisions literally, without me, lol?
Back to you, job seeker (this is, but isn’t about me)!
You are looking for a new career. You are in a place of uncertainty. You have bills to pay, children to feed, people are depending on you. Resume Energy’s suggestion. Stop what you are doing, and let’s disarm this inner critic today. Let’s reprogram that inner voice to a more positive message.
It can be done. Just being aware of the voice is a first step. Sometimes just knowing that you are giving yourself critical messages will reverse them. Try this to make yourself aware of the critical messages. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time you criticize yourself. Once you see how often you are critical of yourself, start to focus in on exactly what the messages you are giving yourself are?
Take this scenario: you have been trying to reach a particular person all day. When you finally reach that person, he is brusque and disinterested. Your critical inner voice might say, “I’m just not good at this. I’ll never find a job.” Notice that the negative statement “I’ll never find a job.” has permanence to it. No wonder you feel dejected and maybe even depressed. It would be hard to continue making calls after that.
The best way to handle your inner critic is to first talk back! Talk to yourself as if you were a child, a dear friend in need. What would you say to them? Here are a few other great suggestions: For that particular situation, all you had to do was, say to yourself, “I must have caught him at a bad time. There are other people I can call.” Doesn’t that feel better?
Some additional possibilities: List some of the disparaging messages that your Inner Critic states over and over in your mind about your job situation. Notice when it emerges. For example, does it get stronger when you’re introduced to new situations and people, getting ready to go on an interview, or how about when you go to check the internet for job postings? How are you feeling? What do you hear? Then you must:
- Identify the contradictions in these messages. The Inner Critic changes rules on any given day setting you up to feel like a failure.
- Identify if the messages. Do they sound like your parents, teachers, spouses, or authority figures?
- Draw your Inner Critic and give it a name. Don’t worry if you’re not artistic. This process will help you detach from it.
- List the consequences of listening to your Inner Critic.
Let’s take some Job Seekers! Here are eight more steps you can take now!
- When are you most critical of yourself?
- Can you prepare new ways to phrase yourself talk that is more positive?
- If you have a really persistent inner critic, get a coach to help you to move forward.
- Read Learned Optimism, by Martin Seligman
- Another book that also addresses this topic is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. This book is a classic.
- There are many ways to handle this inner critic. Search the web, go to your local bookstore, and send Resume Energy a post.
- Since many of my job seekers have some down time while your new careers are unfolding, do some personal development work.
- I highly recommend this author, Suze Casey. Her new book, Belief Repatterning is AWESOME. So much out there, go find it.
My Best Regards!
P.S: There is hope. This topic must be continued in the next blog, meet your inner COACH!